I WRITE BOOKS ON MY TOILET AND POST THEM HERE

alien2
alien3
            CURRENT BOOK:  SHELBYVILLE
                    IS ON HOLD. 
      HERE IS MY FIRST OFFICIAL ONLINE RELEASE
          WITH HOME VHS DEMO OF THE SONGS 
                TO GO ALONG WITH IT. 
  DIGITAL DOWNLOAD PDF COMES WITH NUDES AND ART. 
                 AVAILABLE IN MARCH. 
        PHYSICAL COPY RELEASE IN THE FUTURE. '
                 THE BOOK IS TITLED:
      THIS IS NOT ART THIS IS A THREAT VOL. 1

From The Mind Of A Future Serial Killer - By Mars Von Aurelius (https://vimeo NULL.com/310728993) from MARS VON AURELIUS (https://vimeo NULL.com/user93773085) on Vimeo (https://vimeo NULL.com).

Photo 1007
COVER_FOR_MY_BOOK17

"THIS IS NOT ART THIS IS A THREAT VOL. 1"

BY MARS VON AURELIUS

\…

POWER ON ———————

———————————————————

——————LOADING——————————

————————————————————————————————————————

——————LOADING——————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————

————mrBurns.wav——————————————

————MrBurnsNude.jpg———————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

HELLO SMITHERS. YOU ARE TURNING ME ON!”

———————————————————

————————————————————

———————————————————

————(“UHHH YOU WERN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT.”)——————————

————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————LOADING TITLE——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————PLEASE WAIT—————————

——————BE PATIENT————————

—————————————————————————

——————————————————————

—————————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

This Is Not Art This Is A Threat

Vol.1”

—————————————————

WRITTEN BY

THE MARS von AURELIUS

————————————————

(@)(@) - - - - ( lllllllllllllll( )( )

————————————————

Alt. Title= “I’m Having A Nervous Breakdown. I’m Scared And Don’t Feel Well In This World Anymore”

————————————————

All poems, threats, lyrics, hallucinations, jokes, artwork, pain, and suffering and everything else deemed trash or low brow OR NOT ART and everything ELSE in this book - © By Mars Von Aurelius

Disclaimer:

DON’T PAY MORE THAN $10.00 FOR THE DIGITAL COPY DIRECTLY FROM ME. IT COMES WITH COOL SHIT AND MORE NUDES. A PHYSICAL COPY CAN BE PURCHASED DIRECT THROUGH ME FOR $50.00 FOR THIS BOOK PLUS SHIPPING. I KNOW YOU ARE THINKING, "50 BUCKS THATS NOT PUNK ROCK!" IT IS ONLY SOLD BY MARS AND MADE BY MARS. THEY ARE ONE OF A KIND! LIMITED RUN, HAND NUMBERED AND SIGNED WITH MY OWN ALIEN BLOOD. BECAUSE I BLEED FOR ROCK N ROLL! ALL HAND MADE AND HAND SEWN BY MARS HIMSELF. I ALSO WHEN I SHIP IT OUT I WILL PUT SOME OF MY ORIGINAL MUSIC IN THERE LIKE CD'S OR TAPES OR VHS. I MIGHT EVEN BE ON A MANIC EPISODE WHEN YOU ORDER AND I MIGHT JUST RECORD YOU YOUR OWN PERSONAL ALBUM! I LIKE TO GET WEIRD. I'M A WEIRDO. SO IF YOU DIDN’T BUY IT FROM MARS ITS A FUCKING BOOTLEG! AND THAT'S NOT MY BLOOD, THAT'S BOOTLEG BLOOD!

IF YOU’RE A TRUE FAN, GO RETURN THE BOOK TO THE GUY WHO RIPPED YOU OFF AND SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FUCKING FACE WITH IT FOR ME!* SO IF YOU SEE THIS BOOK ON THE SHELF AT BARNES N NOBLES ITS NOT REAL. NO ONE IS REAL THERE. SO STEAL THIS BOOK.

*I’ll TRY AND Bail You out. Like start a Kickstarter, or break u out. Worse case scenario: I'll keep sending you cool shit in the mail until i die.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I was not of sound mind when I wrote this book. I am no way responsible for it’s content. If I offend you, then come fight me yourself one on one. I am willing to agree to special conditions, AND WILL MEET UP WITH YOU TO FIGHT FOR ROCK N ROLL! Fuck lawyers and fight me like a man!

My manager’s email is: Rotteneyeballs@gmail.com

You can order weird things and communicate to me through that email address. You can request a catalog of my art for sale. Please direct all hate mail there.

One More Note: I’VE ALWAYS wanted to fight Danny Bonnaducce. Because he’s a total fucking pile of human shit. Also, Barry Williams because u are an alcoholic and dated my mom and she says your an asshole mother fucker, so fuck you Greg Brady, I’ll shit on you if you ever come at me. I read the behind the scenes Brady Bunch Book and Don’t like any of you. also: Carrot Top, he’s just a fucking piece of shit. He’s the worst Comedian. Never made me laugh. He’s Disgusting. He looks like a fat dump Trump shat out after eating 5 bags of Cheetos with Sirracha on it. You know, with that orange shitty fake tan they both have. Its more like if Cheetos came out with a new flavor called “Rosacea Vomit”, and they just rub a bunch of those things all over their disgusting bodies. Any politician who is interested in fighting me, please direct all inquiries for violence and any other message to my Manager. He checks the email. But I do respond personally to all emails sent over there. All Politicians are scum. Do not trust any of them. Especially if they keep money in politics. Money ruins and corrupts everything its ever been involved with, just like Courtney Love's vagina.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————END MESSAGE--------------------------————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————ERR COD ERR—————————

—————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————

————WARNING!— JOKE WAS TOO ————————OFFENSIVE———————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

———CPU TEMP JUST BELOW ————————CRITICAL!!!!—————————————————————————————————————————————

——————WARNING!——WARNING!——————————————————————————————————WARNING!---------------————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————

PRESS

START TO CONTINUE

——————————————

———START————————

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

———LOADING SCREEN——-

11010101001110101001011110101001111010010110101010101

101010010101010101

101010100100010011111110010100101010010101001010011

————————————————————————————————

——LOADING SCHITZOPHRENIC BI POLAR MANIC EPISODE——

————————————————————————————————

READY?

LET’S BEGIN!

HAVE FUN!

——————————————

—————————

————————

———————

——————

—————

————

———

——

————————————————————————————————————————

A Brief History Of This Shitty Time - Thoughts on Medication and losing all your friends

————————————————————————————————————————

Sitting here, alone in this dark room, thinking these thoughts. I am having another nervous breakdown but for the first time I feel alive. I’m not lying to myself anymore and am going to just be who I am. How many times have you been let down? Had someone lie to you and call you a friend? I think backs all have targets on them and are just meant to be stabbed. The future sucks. In the future people stab each others backs with laser precision. My name is Mars. They had me on Lithium and Risperdol for the longest time. I lost a lot of my friends, and I’m sure the meds weren’t helping. I am a mistake. A monster. An Alien. A disappointment. But when god© made me the mold I did break. And thus, I was born Punk. god©’s molds aren’t Punk Rock Proof. I am the product of what happens when the mold breaks. On those medications they were giving me I felt dumb. I had no thoughts, i couldn’t make art. In every conversation it made me feel so nervous I didn’t have any thoughts. I wasn’t alive back then. Recently a few nervous breakdowns ago, I switched to Seroquel and some other shit. It’s a lot of pills, no fun ones, but for the first time in my life in 10 years I have my creative thoughts back. It is a double edged sword. It is awesome for art, but

I’m left feeling insane....

no one wants a deaf mute docile timid dog

on a Risperdol/Lithium combo

it wasn't fun.

they made me take it

and said it would help me

but i just feel like I'm already gone...

no one wants a deaf mute docile timid dog

my crate was too small

and they left me all day alone

i went to the bathroom

in there

and they beat me

with the newspaper

when they came home

because nobody likes me

and i know

but i cant see

because

I'm

nothing but a deaf mute docile timid dog

they tried to teach me obedience

but

that didn't work for me

i didn't understand

when i came back from home

they took all the pictures of me off the wall

they didn't say anything about it

but I

totally noticed

even though i am blind i could sense it

and my only friend confirmed it

it makes sense to me

because no one likes

a deaf mute docile timid dog...

sorry sidetracked. and WE ARE BACK TO THE BOOK...

and weighed up to 210 LBS! Normally when I’m happy my weight is 175. I am currently at 130 But I feel alive! I’m the most depressed I’ve ever been, but its worth it because I feel alive! And that’s all that matters. I know my time here is running out. Especially after this book comes out. Please enjoy this book and have a good laugh! My name is Mars, I still don’t know what happiness feels like, but I’m sure insanity feels better. This book goes out to the people who can handle the crazy and don;’t get scared away. I also dedicate this book to Rock N Roll, and how along with other forms of art, shouldn’t be censored. I’m Mars von Aurelius and I’ll be here all night….

——————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Electrical Tape

—————————————————————————————————————————

I found out that the Dollar store is fucking awesome because they have everything i need there, including 2 rolls of sexy black electrical tape for a dollar! Now i can afford to look pretty!!! Somebody take me out tonight.

——————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————

Electrical Taped Girlfriend

---------------------------------

i like

just wearing

black electrical tape

it's my favorite

new

little

black outfit

i like

going out in town in it

i like feeling

constricted

it makes me feel

like

a real woman

and have all these

weird feelings

about

black

electrical tape

dress me up

in black electrical tape

i wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

i want you to do bad things to me

i wanna be your slave

spit on my face

abuse my body

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

I want you to abuse me,

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

It all started last year on Halloween

i dressed up

in electrical tape

and high heels

i loved how it

showed of all my curves

it was the first time

going out

i didn't feel nervous

it was the first time

i felt beautiful

hang me upside down

and

pierce my nipples with sharp needles

life isn't good,

it tastes sour

poke my eyes out

with

your fingers

teach me

a lesson

that i'll regret

i want you to

cut me and disown me

hurt me

piss on top of me

while i'm all

wrapped up

in shiny black electrical tape!

in shiny black electrical tape!

i wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

ask me out on a date

and make it happen

and

hang me upside down

and make

me suffer

because

life isn't good

it tastes sour

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

I want you to use my body and hurt me

I wanna be your electrical taped girlfriend

i like the way it feels

around my dick

I tape it back

to feel like a woman

what's wrong with the

world

when i can't be a woman

electrical tape

makes me feel

like a real woman

i just wanna be your

electrical taped girlfriend

i just wanna be your

electrical taped girlfriend

i just wanna be your

electrical taped girlfriend

i just wanna be your

electrical taped girlfriend

———————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

———————————————————

Seroquel

———————————————————————

I don’t wanna take my Seroquel

when I’m on it it makes me

feel like I’m in a different kind of hell

I can’t describe it

i can’t tell anymore what is reality

i just want out of this fucking misery

i can’t tell if it’s

making thing worse

or helping me

all i feel is insanity

if i go off it

i am manic

it’s great for art

but not healthy for me

Just Gimme the Trinity!!!!

I need an Oxycodone

a Xanax

and some Muscle relaxers!

i wish

they would give me the good stuff

like Xanax or Colonopaen.

no more.

So

i sit here,

in this catatonic state,

talking to ghosts.

David Lynch ain’t got shit on what I see

when I’m

paranoid and

off my meds

the only thing i can do is stay in bed

i don’t wanna take my Seroquel

when I’m on it it makes me

feel like I’m in a different kind of hell

but not quite as bad as Risperdol

i can’t tell anymore what is real,

what is reality.

i just want out of this misery

i don’t wanna take my Seroquel

Please don’t make me take any more Seroquel

I just don’t wanna go back on Risperdol.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————

Rock N Roll Is Tame (I’m Out)

——————————————————

Everyone in a band

I’m calling you out

don’t call yourself rock n roll

because all you sold out

you are just in a band

to impress your girlfriend

she’s always at practice

but now they accept it

i never let any girlfriends

i had go to my shows

because when i play

it’s a nervous breakdown

I’m embarrassed

because i go to war

and that’s all because

i play for rock n roll!

Whens the last time a band destroyed a hotel room?

whens the last time a fan send you a nude?

When’s the last time a fan sent you a nude and it was a dude?

that’s because you are not rock n roll

like Mojo Nixon said

you are just disco

and disco still sucks

your band sucks

and you never wrote any hits

you never did cocaine off groupies tits

you just wear

the classic Joy Division shirt

to impress chicks with daddy issues

i hate your band

and for everything you stand

i will never go to another show

in this town again

because it aint no rock n roll!

i don’t want to live

in a world

where rock n roll is tame

all the bands you’re in

have a laptop

and sound the same

I’d rather go home

and listen to Brainiac

because

i heard your new

demo

and hated all the tracks

i don’t want to live

in a world

where rock n roll is tame!

2018

really is lame!

i should have been born in the 70’s

and checked out in the 90’s

but instead I’m stuck born an 85 baby

stuck in a world

where rock n roll

is tame!

where’s the time machine

i wanna go back

set the dial

to rock n roll,

grab my hand

and lets never come back!

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

You Made Me Want To Go Out And Buy A Gun

—————————————————————

Father?

yes son

i just wanted to love you

but the things you do

made me go buy a gun

i don’t feel right

no more

now I’m mentally ill

and on the run

i think its true

this world we live in

might be Hell

it would explain

this world

and

all the suffering

It would explain

the creatures at night

that won’t stop haunting me

and i think I’m about to die

I’m scared to be here

I'm scared to be

alone inside this house

i heard people know when it’s there time

like their body

sends them a message

it is about to give out.

so all i can do is write for now

But i am to tired i can almost see the light

at the end of the tunnel

the doctors got me drugged up

on pharmaceuticals

and broke my will to fight

Father

I’m sorry

I just wanted to love you

I don’t think I’m going to make it

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

Closed Minds = Closed Doors - Ramblings To Myself About Religion And A Midget With A Big Dick

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

The Mormons came to my door

I was on my way out to practice

So I handed them my bands demo

I never saw those 2 scared Mormon kids again

when I think about what happened

it really makes me grin

The Christians approached me

and wanted to have a debate

They said they were

sure of my unfortunate fate

They handed me their card

and that’s when

I knew they were evil

because

only Satan’s

business card

would be a printed on a

fake one million dollar bill

So he starts to quote specifics from the big book

i said how can you trust what it says to be certain

No one really knows anything in this world

you know what i mean

Religion and Politics

have caused all the wars

and on both sides

are the Rothschilds

They fund them all and make a huge profit

the scientists

are looking In the wrong place

that is

was

and will be

all pain and beauty.

All this locked inside

this little Hellraiser Puzzle Box

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

I was in a band with 2 Jehovah witnesses

they were cool

even one was a midget

He ripped on bass

and it was so cool watching him play

because the bass was huge on him.

Like how the SG looks huge on AC/DC

You know they say in bands, the bass player always

has the biggest dick.

Well, I bet that midget has the biggest dick of them all.

Anyways,

I never had any problems with those 2 guys

but it might be because

we never spoke of religion

because they were true peace and love

the Christians last night

claimed to be all love

but I have a feeling

they just rape children

I asked the men if they believe in reincarnation?

The Christians all shook their heads with confidence

that they were certain

I said I don’t know what happens

nobody does

but I’ll entertain theories

and keep all 3 of my eyes open

I do spirit communication

and have a lot of evidence to support a few different

theories

what if I told you god© is just a really good

computer programmer with a twisted dark sense

of humor? He’s programmed 3 games so far: Heaven, Hell, and The Sims.

HAHAHA The Christians had a bumper sticker that said Christian and it was meant to look like a black metal band logo. Like hard to read and blood dripping font. They should start a Christian fake metal band called “Nailed To The Sky”.

- Mars talking to himself

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————

Father Dave

—————————————————————

He just wants your money every time you go to church

any religion that asks for money all the time

can’t be trusted at all

they are tax exempt

and Father Dave

drives a brand new Lexus

and I’m telling you

that is no

coincidence

No! i won’t go

to your church

I’m mentally ill

and that will make things worse

you know what i mean?

A good christian walks home

after service

every Sunday

and now can’t afford a Wendy's lunch

because it is god©’s day

I would be pissed off

that would ruin my weekend

all because Father Dave’s wife

now wants a new blue Lexus

So next Sunday

He passes around the hat

the desperate

and mentally ill

fill it up with all their

hard earned cash

because now Father Dave

and his wife’s cars

both need to match

And everybody knows that

life’s not complete

without

custom engraved

matching gold plated

vanity plates

Every Sunday,

he walks by Wendy's and dreams

But he can’t afford to eat

he can’t afford to dream.

He just wants a burger

inside his empty stomach

he’s starting to feel week

all because

of Father Dave’s greed

Father Dave told him

he would be saved soon

but that his wife

wants to go on another vacation

He said “We’re leaving after the service

on Sunday

so make a big donation!”

The good Christian

crossed the street

on Sunday,

on his way home.

while he walked by the Wendy's

he dreamed

of his stomach being full

When Father Dave

sped around a sharp corner

and crashed into him.

He was hit from behind

they said he was instantly killed

right there and then

All because Father Dave was driving

while talking on

his brand new cellphone

he ran him over

driving his new Porsche

with a new gold custom license plate

that read:

1AMEVIL

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————

Punk Rock Heaven

—————————————————————————

I'm too pissed off to go outside

All my close friends

have died

What's the point

to go out

when all your friends have died

They all left me for a better place

They were to punk

to stay alive in this place

I keep getting

in trouble

whenever I go out.

I'm afraid

This town will kick me out

next time I leave the house

I wannna go where

where I'm not blacklisted

I wanna go

where shots of

whiskey flow

and I can make my

bad decisions

take me away

right now

because

I want to die just so I can see

The Ramones play!

(GUITAR GO!!!!)

I heard in Punk Rock Heaven

there are no fucking

chads

And everyone parties

and the next morning

doesn't feel bad

because in Punk Rock heaven

there are no rules

or demands

so beam me up Johnny

I wanna see your band!

I wanna die and go to punk rock heaven!

i wanna die just to see the Ramones play!

I wanna die and go to punk rock heaven!

I wanna hang out with Dee Dee,

and dye my hair black,

I wanna die young and go to punk rock heaven!

i wanna see the Ramones play at their best!

I wanna die and go to punk rock heaven!

And I'm never coming back!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Poison Ivy

—————————————————————————

When I first saw

my first Cramps music video

it got me excited

because

After I saw you play guitar

I went to my room

and masturbated

And not just to your beauty,

everyone tells you that already!

i was thinking of you on that guitar

and the rock a billy licks

that you were playing!

I just gotta say damn girl,

All I know

is

when god made you

he made you

to rock n roll!

(GUITAR!!!)

Lux

was a lucky lady

to have

such a bad ass woman

to play in a band with

you guys together was perfect!

when he did the microphone blowjob

he had my full attention

but as soon as you

started to solo

i got all

hot and bothered

and distracted

All I know

is

when god made you

he made you

to rock n roll!

(GUITAR GO!)

I've seen all the photos

of you two together

i have some of them

on my walls

i like to stare at them

when I'm home

and I have to say

you guys never took

a bad picture!

and that's because

you and Lux

were the best looking couple

in rock n roll!

and

when god made

the two of you

he made you both

to rock n roll!

(GUITAR GO GO GO!!!!!)

(MICROPHONE BLOWJOB)

(FIGHTS AUDIENCE)

- Mars von Aurelius

Breaking News:

Mars Is Banned From The Pubs!!!!!!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

Running Out Of Places To drink

—————————————————————————

I don’t try to usually, but sometimes I’m a bad girl. Sorry to some bartenders that put up with me for the longest time. Sorry Candice.

—————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

Where Nobody Knows My Name (I Wanna Go)

—————————————————————————

I wanna drink where nobody knows my name.

Where they don't want to cash me out

after one beer.

I'm running out of places to drink in this town

but you never should puke where you shit

because it never ends well.

I try to be a good girl

I try to behave

I really do!

But I'm on these meds

and I black out after

I've only had 2.

I think its because

I'm too punk for 2018.

I wish I was born in the 60's

but I'm just an 85 baby.

I like anyone that will serve me

They are nice people to do so

but I understand

if I’m

being a drunk asshole.

All apologies!

Kurt Cobain

said every one was gay

but when I drink here in town

only straight white men over 60

who are drunk get gay

I always tell them to fuck off

and they say,

I’m sorry, I'm just drunk!”

but us girls know better

because macho homophobic guys

are just

trucker fags in denial.

I was just born in the wrong fucking time.

I wish I could go back

and be a bad ass gentleman

like Burt Reynolds.

and have lots of cash to spend

but I’m stuck in 2018

where people suck ass

—————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

BREAKING NEWS:

Pedogate is real! Pizzagate is real! Censoring independent journalism is the modern book burning!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Jerry Seindusky: The World’s Most Brutal Serial Murderer Cannibal/ Stand up Comedian

—————————————————————————

With all these rapists getting exposed in Hollywood like everyone's so shocked like oh he's so funny he did great movies I can't believe he did this. Is it that shocking though?

Because hasn’t Cosby always looked like a perv. I had some Cosby records and I always got a weird vibe off that dude. I think what would it take to surprise me, like to go no way that guy!? Jared from Subway was toooo obvious!! It would have to be if Jerry Seinfeld got accused of being a violent serial cannibal murderer. And it would funny to me in a dark way, because it's so absurd to see him in that light.

What if he was the worst out of all of them? Like what if Jerry Seinfeld was just a straight up the most brutal motherfucking serial killer in history?

That's what it takes to shock me with that type of news. Imagine, him killing someone and trying to strangle his victim with his bare hands. While he's strangling him, he's saying cheesy Seinfeld jokes “What's the deal with airline peanuts?”

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Just Gimme A Rock N Roll Nurse And A Morphine drip

—————————————————————————

I actually saw on a list of therapists in my area, the Rock N Roll nurse from the last mental hospital I was in. I want to call her up and my cheesy pickup line will be I don't know what health insurance plan your one but girl you need to get on mine because I think I'm in love!

When I’m locked up over there, the whole time I’m there, I just want her to ask me if I wanna go to Denny's. And we would go and and get strawberry milkshakes. And if it’s my birthday or hers one shake would be free. Then she can drive me back to my hospital room. I love you Rock N Roll Nurse!

I love to dream...

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I've Got The Mental Hospital Blues (And There Ain't No Cure For This Kind Of Pain)—————————————————————————

Send me up to BHU and I'll start a riot.

I promise I will throw my feces around,

start an electrical fire

and burn this failure of a hospital to the ground.

The Mental Health Services in Southern Oregon really let me down.

You’ve failed me

and when I think about it

it really brings me down.

I've got the fucking blues.

I've got the mental hospital blues.

They told me this isn't the right place

for me to get help

they tell me one thing but

They got this fucking 5 day hold on me.

I'm in hell and I want to go home

but they say its not safe

for me to be by myself anymore.

I've got the god© damn fucking mental hospital blues

and they wont let me leave.

At least there's a rock n roll nurse here

maybe she can help me.

She seems cool

but I'm to crazy to tallk to her

She's the only thing

keeping my heart beating in here.

But I'm insane

and I've got the mental hospital blues

and there ain't no cure for this kind of pain.

I just wanna party with the rock n roll nurse

she might be able to give me some fun meds,

I've got the fucking mental hospital blues,

and I'm never getting out,

and I’m bummed out 🙁

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

UPDATE:

I called the Rock N Roll Nurse’s business number and it went to her voicemail but its totally her husband doing the voice greeting. I’m backing off he sounded like a Chad! Don’t trust any chick who dates a chad. and 3 other important life rules for you kids:

1. Never fight a Roofer

2. Never fight a Hockey Player

3. Never back down from a fight, unless it's a Roofer or a Hockey Player

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Take Me To The Dollar Store

—————————————————————————

I buy all my lipstick

At the Dollar Store

I find pink socks

with cute foxes

at the Dollar Store

I buy all my shit from the Dollar Store!

Oh I feel so pretty

whenever i shop at the Dollar Store!

I just wish they sold

more makeup

at the dollar store!

Come on Girls!

lets get in the car

and all go down

to the Dollar Store!

I call Shotgun!

(Guitar!!)

I like to buy all my

Halloween candy

at the dollar store!

I like to buy 4 packs of Shasta

at the dollar store!

I’ve even found bottles of wine

at the dollar store!

And my wine snob uncle

drank a glass and asked for more!

I didn't tell him I bought it at the dollar store!

Oh i feel so happy

whenever i shop at the

dollar store!

Please don’t ever close

the Dollar Store!

I love all the cool shit

i can find

down

at the dollar store!

Take Me To The Dollar Store!

(Guitar!!!)

With Trump,

fucking shit up,

with his trade war,

I’m worried that one day

I’ll go there,

and it will be renamed:

The 2 dollar store”,

and I'll cry!

Take Me To The Dollar Store!

There’s no where else I would rather go!

I’m so happy when i shop

at The Dollar Store!

Shut up, and drive Me To The Dollar Store!

(Guitar GO!!!! GO!! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————LOADING MODERN.DAY.JIM.MORRISON.JOKES.wav——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————LOADING————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————LOADING——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————MODERN.DAY.JIM.MORRISON.JOKES.wav ———————————————————————————————SUCCESSFULLY LOADED!——————————————————————————————————ENJOY!————————

————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Modern Day Jim Morrison

—————————————————————————

Why did modern day Jim Morrison cross the road?

To shop at Hot Topic, because he thought he just needed to fart but ended up shitting his only pair of leather pants.

Why did modern day Jim Morrison feel bad?

Because, The times we live in would make him sad.

Why does modern Jim Morrison want to die?

Because Rock N Roll is tame

Who Is modern day Jim Morrison's best friend?

No one. Because everyone is fake.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

—————————————————————————

I bought

a Spiked belt

at Hot Topic once.

They asked for my email

at the counter,

and

When I got back home

and checked my messages

my Inbox turned into a poseur.

the girl behind the counter

had already sent me 10 emails!

She invited me

to see her new boyfriends

death metal core band play

and

to hang out with her and her friends down at the mall!

But I aint no Ray Moore!

NO!

I don’t want to buy your

Joy Division shirts!

Or support

the mall.

$40 hoodies

are not worth it

at all!

So, stop sending me emails

or Headquarters I will call!

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

I know you're still not supposed to admit that you've shopped there.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

The skinny jeans didn't fit me

because I am too old and fat to shop there

Going in,

embarrassed i felt,

and

I was very disappointed they didn’t

sell

bondage bracelets

or belts!

When I was inside

all I got were

bad stares,

and

I was very disappointed

they don’t

pierce nipples

over

at Claires!

I should have used a

fake email address

to sign up.

now i get spammed

with fake punk rock email.

its fucked up.

I logged in today

and to my surprise,

my inbox

was full of videos

of emo kids hardcore dancing!

Why did I give them my real email,

I don’t know what I was thinking!

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

I know you're still not supposed to admit that.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

The girl jeans didn't fit me

because I am too old and fat

I wanna hang myself

with this Hot Topic belt!

I don’t give a fuck!

Because, the Mall

and

the people

there all fucking suck

I wish I was a bird so

I could shit

on all the shoppers

in the parking lot.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

I know you're still not supposed to admit that.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

They were all out of NIN shirts

and bondage belts,

it sucked.

I wanna hang myself

with this spiked Hot Topic belt.

I wanna put it on

inside out

around my neck.

I don’t want to go to

the mall anymore

Because

the mall fucking sucks

And

I’m going to hang myself

tonight

with this

overpriced

cheaply made

vegan

sweat shop factory

belt tonight

because I give no fucks!

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

I know you're still not supposed to admit that.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

and the skinny jeans didn't fit me

Because I am too old and fat!

If they were real punks, they would rename the store to "Daddy Issues"!

Death To False Punk,

they should start selling

skull printed

black colored tissues!

I bet Hot Topic is owned

by Mikey Graves,

or that singer from AFI!

Either way,

I think we might be in hell

so

I wouldn't be surprised.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

It was so cheap

I tried to hang myself with it

and it broke.

Because I'm too old and fat

to kill myself

with a

Hot Topic belt!

and I'm pissed off now,

because haven't any rope.

I Bought A Spiked Belt From Hot Topic Once

Please don't

tell my friends

or parents

that I went there!

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————

Art Bell Is Dad

————————————————————

Art bell felt more like a father to me than my own dad. I never met Art bell but he was always there. He was my best friend that i never had…

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

Art Bell Is Dead

————————————————————

It’s past midnight in the desert

and your dead in the air

the line keeps on ringing

but your not there.

You are lost somewhere in time.

You were smart

and left this messed up world behind

Today art bell died

When I heard the news I cried,

and I cried, and i cried.

And I too died.

Art bell is dead

I will leave the Ouija board out for you

and the spirit box on forever

in case you ever wanna come through.

I would love to talk to you

I do hope you come through.

The world desperately needs you

I refuse to listen

to that idiot George Snoory

trying to sell me diet pills

and giving me bad information

Please pick up the phone

I know the time travel line

I wont call the main number

because I’m missing time

It's me art bell

you never met me

but I love you

and the world misses you

we really need you

Art bell Is Dead

Today, Radio officially died

Art Bell Is Dead.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

The Government Is Trying To Shrink Yo Dick - A Warning From Mars—

—————————————————————————

All I know is never click on the 10 inch penis guaranteed ads when next time u look at porn. I have a feeling it's a scam run by the government to actually shrink yo dick. I obviously never fell for that scam as you can see. I mainly played bass in the bands and there is a saying that the bass player has the biggest dick in the band. from everything I've seen from doing rock n roll I can only confirm this. But I partied a little bit I'll admit I indulged in some fun pharmaceuticals and nose powder where I think my dick has only shrank 1 inch for 20 years of rock n rolling. I mean I can no longer suck my own dick because I'm now old and fat and ate too many cheeseburgers.

—————————————————————————

——————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

Paranoia

——————————————————————

You know when Kennedy was murdered by the two CIA assassins who have since been protected by our government in the witness protection program. And Bush senior at the same time was in charge of the CIA. And isn't it interesting project paperclip ended the day of the Kennedy murder and those two CIA assassins were both registered in a nearby motel in the same location where JFK was murdered. Same fucking town same fucking day. And Bush Sr was also in the same fucking town on the same fucking day. And there top secret operation ended that day. Just look back at Roswell and all the disinformation the government fed the public. And kinda weird exactly one month later after Roswell the CIA is formed. And really weird Nevada Roswell happened on the same exact day as Roswell but 5 years later to the exact day from Roswell in 1947. Look at the first pictures of the dark side of the moon or the Mars photos when they first went under the clouds to take pictures. There are fucking cities there. Nowadays anyone can take any image from NASA site and open it up in Photoshop and look at the image compression and can tell if a photo has been digitally altered in any way. Try it.

What is scary to think about is that we have telescopes that can read a postage stamp from 600 miles away. They have satellites that can see every fucking brick in your suburban house. But I wondered if they have any technology that would be powerful enough to see GG Allin’s dick up close? That thing was the smallest prick in rock n roll. Just proof any fun drugs will shrink your dick. Makes me wonder about Johnny Depp's dick because he looked pretty bad when I saw the most recent picture of him. He’s great I love his movies. But, I’m convinced either he is going trans or that all the cocaine does shrank his sick so small that it is falling off. Haha right! Like Hollywood and CIA invented Cocaine to slowly but eventually chemically castrate straight men so they can no longer reproduce. Population control! Population reduction! There are too many humans. It sucks!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

A Day In The Life Of Donald Trump

————————————————

He wakes up and looks at his penis. He is happy he is still there! He talks to his cock and has a conversation with him for 20 minutes. Then he proceeds to Piss on his wife. His daughter is sent in. He shits on his daughter then checks the news. He logs on to the internet and goes to the default homepage which in the Trump “White Power” house you know is set to 4chan. Trump logs into his account: “TheRealFurrher88”, and trolls people for awhile on the 4chan message board. Man, he thinks aloud, this article is really scary there are women who think they can make a difference. Bahahaha. I'm going to make a new rule because I'm a big boy and I make the rules now. I’m going to bomb Planned Parenthood and Steak and blowjob day is now a nationally recognized holiday. And its everyday for me. “Susan, send in the schoolchildren we kidnapped from the tour group in here. And order me a fucking steak. Sir-loan 8 ounces seared. With the tears of dead puppies.”

Right away sir I'll have that right in.”

And Suzan?”

Yes Mr. president? Hurry up with my steak and send in that retarded Mexican girl we abducted from my underage little girl beauty pageant that I run.”

Yes sir the Mexican retarded girl will be right in and I'll let her know that you plan on chopping her head off because, I know u think the steaks taste better when the meat is scared right before slaughter.”

Bahahaha, Suzan, I'm glad I hired you. You know I get a fat tax break for hiring retards, ni***rs, and women. With the money that I save on hiring the disabled I can afford to relax and golf an extra day during the week. The golf balls I use are only the best! They are made from the testicles of illegal immigrant children from Shithole countries like Somalia or Compton. Bahahaha that reminds me cut off all support to the country Compton let's make them suffer! I want to be a bigger piece of shit racist than my dad….I need to always one up him and be the best because i Have Daddy issues….. Bahahaha Haha!!! Hey that reminds me Suzan, one last thing. Can you call former president No-Bama and tell him he's a communist transgender n word?”

Yes sir right away.”

Thanks Suzan. I love being the big boy in charge! It feels so good! Oh Suzan?”

Yes sir?”

I need you in my office right away I feel like I need to abuse you because you’re disabled, I mean a woman. And bring in my Nazi uniform, I just got it pressed. I need to look good while I hurt you.”

Right away sir, yes sir……..”

—————————————————————————-—THE BOOK WILL RESUME AFTER THIS QUICK AD---—————————————————————————-————————————————————————

————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————LOADING AD——————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————

(AUTO PLAY 2 MIN AD THAT CAN’T BE SKIPPED)

————————————————————————————————————————

—————LOADED —TRUMP.RASCIST.———————-2020.CAMPAIGN.AD.Avi———

———————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————

————————————————

—————————————

———————

—————

(Scary evil politician music is playing in background)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The gay frogs are gonna take over.

——————————————————

————————————————————

It’s going to be a modern gay locust invasion of biblical proportions. ————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————

And it’s all because, of one woman

…………………………….…………………….

…………………………….…………………….

…………………………….…………………….

——(Scary Music Playing in Background)———

—————————————————————

——(Audio of a reverse reverb cymbal hit that builds up in intensity)———————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Hillary keeps using an unsecured email account to send nudes to Satan and she signed up for a Bangbros gay version account recently. A 5 Year membership to the site, actually. This needs to stop! And that's why we need to re-elect Trump for 2020! so all those gay fucking frogs don’t bite us and turn us humans into gay frogs!

—————————————————————————————

It has been proven, and is a well known fact, that Hillary is the Anti-Christ and actually also might be a gay frog herself. ——————————————

———(video clip shows slideshow photos of Hillary Clinton dressed up 3 Halloweens ago in a frog suit but they Photoshopped the pictures to look like it’s really a gay frog suit she’s wearing)——————————

—————————————————————————————

————(Video shows a Photoshopped picture of Hillary behind her computer browsing the Bangbros Gay Version of the site while wearing the gay frog suit and flicking her bean. They also put some devil horns on her and stink lines for effect)—————————————

————————————————————————————

Hi, My name’s Donald trump and I am a genius. I approve this message.”

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

This Message has been paid for by the Trump Underage Little Girl Beauty Pageant LLC/ With a generous donation from The Jefferey Epstein Billionaire Sex Offender

Fund LLC

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————LOADING ——————————————————————————COURTNEY.LOVE.OFFENSIVE.JOKES.PART1.zip—

———————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————

————————EXTRACTING FILE————————————————————————————————————————————————

————BIG FILE SIZE PLEASE BE PATIENT!————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————EXTRACTING—————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————EXTRACTING—————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————EXTRACTING—————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————EXTRACTING—————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————FILE EXTRACTED————————

—————————————————————————

—————————SUCCESSFULLY!————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

———WARNING THESE JOKES ARE HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE?———

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————SELECT——YES——OR—NO——————

————————————————————————

———————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————YES——————————————

————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————

——ARE YOU SURE? THESE JOKES WILL GET YOU KILLED. AND POSSIBLY SUED. PROCEED?——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——SELECT——————————————————————————I DON’T GIVE A FUCK I WANT TO DIE ANYWAY——

YOU’D BE DOING ME A FAVOR——————————————————————————————————OR—————————————

——————NO—I WANT TO KEEP LIVING—————

—————————————————————————

————————————————————————

——————YOU HAVE SELECTED—————

—————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

I DON’T GIVE A FUCK I WANT TO DIE ANYWAY ————YOU’D BE DOING ME A FAVOR——————

————————————————————————

———————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————FINAL WARNING!———————

—————————————————————————

PROCEED?———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——SELECT————I’M BLACKED OUT——OR——NO—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————YOU HAVE SELECTED———————

—————————————————————————

———————I’M BLACKED OUT——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————WARNING!——CPU TEMP AT —————102 DEGREES FAREINHEIT!—————————————————————————

——————WARNING!———WARNING!!!!!—————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

———————NOW PLAYING———————————COURTNEY.LOVE.OFFENSIVE.JOKES.PART1.Wav——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Courtney love and Yoko Ono busted the ruler out and were having a dick measuring contest, and he had Yoko beat by 3 inches!

I heard that Viagra doesn’t work for Courtney Love. The only time his dick gets hard is when he's eating babies
Courtney love used to strip in Portland. FACT. Also it's a well known fact that Mary's Club where she danced at, only hires ugly strippers.

Courtney love is so desperate for a hit that well into his 80's he is still sucking dick for heroin. But all the dicks in her mouth now a’days have no talent so she is just considered now a Crack Whore with no talent who sucks homeless people dicks for a hit of heroin.

I heard they Carbon Dated Courtney Loves vagina and just got the results back. The results are in…….And Courtney, you are a prehistoric monster. (read the end part like Maury if it’s not obvious!)

The only talent Courtney love has had in him was when Kurt Cobain would get drunk enough to hate fuck her mouth.

Courtney Love’s face looks like Spaghetti covered in shit with some rancid Sour Cream for makeup.

On “America’s Crack Whores With No Talent”, Courtney Love got Howie Mandell to hit the red buzzer! Congrats Girl!

If they ever invent Smell-O-Vision for the TV, watching footage of Hole, would smell like breathing in rotten fish tacos covered in fart spray.

Here's my impression of Kurt Cobain listening to the demo of the first hole album. It's good babe. I like it. She leaves room. He gets on phone calls up Billy Corgan. Dude, Billy. I married this ugly HACK with no talent. She's about to put out the album and it's so bad I'm going to kill myself. She's all yours. Kurt kills himself and Courtney takes his notebook and scratches his name off and puts her name on it to use for the first Hole album.

Hey Courtney when’s the new Hole album coming out? Oh yeah nobody gives a shit.

His manager had to hire a new makeup artist. They kidnapped him from NASA. Poor guy had a good career airbrushing UFO's out of pictures of the moon, now he’s stuck airbrushing dead babies out of Courtney Love’s cunt. It’s a full time job with mandatory overtime!

You’ve heard that expression “It’s like a hot dog in a hallway”, well, I heard Courtney Love’s vagina is more like throwing up hot dogs in a hallway.

I heard Courtney loves vagina was the baby from Eraserhead. He's in the credits under his acting name “Ugly Bitch With No Talent”.

She's so gross I once saw a nip slip pic on the internet in the 90s of her. I must have been 12 years old. But, seeing her ugly naked body made me think I was gay for the longest time. I saw a fake nude of Whoopi Goldberg around the same time back then and I would have rather put Whoopi Goldberg's balls in my mouth , than to see that picture of Courtney again.

Courtney love eats babies with Jeffery Epstein and Donald Trump.

I heard Courtney sounds like Satan before they add the auto tune on her.

Have you heard the hole unplugged album I heard for the album they had to unplug Courtney’s Dillaudin drip that goes straight into her dick so she doesn’t slur her lyrics.

Courtney Love has a busy schedule this week. Yeah, yeah, that’s what I heard. Yeah, she’s competing in 3 Dog Shows today and one Donkey Show.

You guys hear that new technology that just came out? It’s like real time Autotune for ugly peoples faces. They have that now. it's amazing! Well, Courtney Love is so ugly his band manager had to start using that on her when they let her off her leash in public, or whenever they do dog shows.

———END OF COURTNEY LOVE JOKES PART 1———

————LOADING——DISCLAIMER.txt———PLEASE WAIT————

—————————————————————

———————————————————————

———————————

—————————

————————

—————

————

———

Ok i'm insane right now. I don’t know what’s going on. I'm off my meds when I perform so I am not of sound mind when I perform or write anything down. so anything I say when I perform or type, write or paint draw etc. may not be used in the court of law because I am not of sound mind when I say these crazy jokes. On my meds I’m a little less of an asshole. Also I am an alien and would like to be tried in a court of my peers on my home planet of Mars. Yes I am a Mentally Ill stand up Comedian/ Artist named Mars from Outer Space and I'll be here all night. Or until Courtney Loves henchmen come in. Fuck off I'm INNOCENT BUT MENTALLY ILL. Art should never be censored. If you compromise your art you failed at being an artist.

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

The 23 year old dad with his mentally I'll adult Male son who's in his 30s but thinks he's a teenage daughter Show!

—————————————————————————

I wanna claim insanity and have my best friend be my legal guardian. I'll send him shitty retarded little kid down syndrome art all the time and he can put it on his desk at the cubicle. He’ll tell all his co-workers that everything he does he does for his little girl. And when it's time for “Take Your Daughter To Work Day”, we will show up wearing shirts of each other's faces On them. Like the Dog Owners and there dogs have matching shirts. They'll notice I'm not a Daughter but in fact am a male in my 30's who is Mentally Ill, and my dad is 23. It'll be great! We will confuse and weird out everyone in the office. He can introduce me as his mentally I'll adult retarded son who thinks he's a teenage daughter. Awww man we would have so much fun! We can maybe sell our story to lifetime with that same title, "23 Year Old Dad With His Mentally I'll Adult Male Son Who's In His 30’s But Thinks He's A Teenage Daughter Show” Haha. Next time on "23 Year Old Dad With His Mentally I'll Adult Male Son Who's In His 30’s But Thinks He's A Teenage Daughter Show”, They get drunk at take your dad to school day.

Dude why are we in a high school we are both adults?”

I love u dad.”

I love you son. OOOPS! I mean I love you Daughter!”

We hug and the fake audience Awwww’s in the background.

Next time on ‘Mentally Ill Teenage Daughter Adult Male’, or the whatever the fuck it's called show, Debbie gets her first period.

Dad I think I'm getting my first period.”

No you’re actually my mentally Ill son I adopted recently and your ass is bleeding.”

Why is my ass bleeding?”

My new dad doesn’t say anything and shrugs his shoulders.

(Insert fake audience canned laughter)

Awe man so much fun if he was my dad!

I think it would be great to take pictures of me as his teenage daughter with a shirt that says " I have no idea what I'm doing right now" and I'll be on the jungle gym looking all teenage daughter retarded. Lol. Dudes I was eating at a Denny's once a while back and totally saw that on the adopt a retarded kid photos on the wall. The kid looked so retarded and confused and was wearing a shirt that said " I have no idea what is going on right now" we started laughing when we saw it and thought his parents or guardians have a sick sense of humor. It was funny for a while the same picture was up for so long every time we would eat there, that photo was there hanging on the wall waiting to be adopted hopefully by parents who don’t have such a sick sense of humor. So, one day we were there after a show and I was wasted and wanted to adopt the kid so bad! But the Picture was taking down! I was bummed. That was the night I almost became a dad. Imagined if i actually adopted her and she joined the “New Dad” show i was just earlier talking about. It would have the most fucked name for a TV Show ever, “23 Year Old Dad With His Mentally I'll Adult Male Son Who's In His 30’s But Thinks He's A Teenage Daughter And Her Adopted Retarded Daughter Who Has No Idea What Is Going On Right Now Show”. At that point we sell the show to FOX and they cancel Zoey De’Channel’s show and just decide to name our show”New Girl” instead because it way more better and way more real of a show.————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

I’m Going To Kidnap My Grandma at Gunpoint From The Old Folks Home And Party In Vegas Till We Die! (The Hangover Part 12)

—————————————————————————

I saw a picture of my grandma recently she has dementia and wants to die. But my folks imprisoned her at a home. She's miserable there. I wanna break her out. I wanna kidnap my grandma at gunpoint and take her to Vegas and fucking party. You know, the whole Hangover thing. We will rent a fucking lion and only do the best cleanest cocaine and heroin. We would rage it, then I would pay 20 bucks online to get one of those 24 hour ordained minister license and marry us. Yes! I would love to marry my grandma and then go out in a gunfight with police, like Bonnie and Clyde! It would be so romantic and so fun! I like to dream. Also, I’m a big fan of Atom And His Package.————————————————————————

Hate Mail

————————————————————————

All my fans keep sending me letters. I love getting free cocaine in the mail! Keep it coming! My biggest fan of all places, is from Afghanistan. He mails me the best cocaine every now and then. I was confused at first because my name was always addressed as ‘USA ASSHOLE’ and not my stage name, Mars Von Aurelius. But somehow it gets to my house. His name is Allah Akbar. I can never read the language he writes in but every time he writes, in the letters he always mentions the 80’s metal band Anthrax. I keep mailing him back some more modern metal bands to listen to because there are a lot better metal bands than Anthrax. Really good cocaine though he sends! I lose so much weight every time I snort it, I cough up and piss blood for up to a month after, but it's a great fucking high! So shout out to my biggest fan from Afghanistan, Allah Akbar! Thanks Allah, keep that nose powder coming! Send me a dick pic sometime. i’ll send you one in my next letter to you along with a Slayer Album.

I have the best fans!

—————————

Manic Cell Phone

—————————

I just got a new phone. It's awesome because I'm having a manic episode and my phone auto correct is being taught to predict cool words. It’s trying to get to know me. You know like the common words I use all the time. So after this episode when I text my mom next time, I'm going to text her, “Today is a beautiful day! We should go out to lunch in the park and have a picnic.” And i’ll hit send, but notice that my evil manic cellphone will correct it to say, “I want to cut my dick off and move to South Dakota!”. Haha technology is great.

——————————————————

My Printer Is Gay

———————————————

I wanted to print

some nude pictures

of that chick

who used to play

Sabrina The Teenage Witch

but my printer malfunctioned

it forgot to

print her vagina and tits

i’m starting to worry

about my printers sexuality

because

the last thing that came out

was David Hasselhoff

nude

eating a cheeseburger

and was printed extra homo-erotically.

That was when I first started to suspect

that my printer might be gay

It never lets me print

straight porn

it just shoots out nude pictures

of Vincent Gallo's butt hole

Last week I tried to print

Paige from WWE

but what came

out before my eyes

astonished me!

It was

Whoopi Goldberg with a dick

instead of a pussy!

I don’t know what to say

I think my

printer might be gay

I’m gonna have to send him away

to a straight white

printer christian rehab camp

for printers that are gay

at first it was

very amusing

but I was trying to print

my book report out

i really needed to get a good grade

I told my teacher it’s not my fault,

my printer is gay!

She gave me 3 weeks detention

And an F- for a grade

she wasn't amused by

the Benjamen Franklin nudes

I think my printer might be gay...

————————————————

Daddy Worked For The Government

————————————————

Daddy worked for the government

His life was top secret

We all had too look picture perfect

I don't know too much about him.

He could be a robot

He could of flew UFOs.

I couldn’t tell you

Because I don't know.

His whole life

was Top Secret

Our whole family

had to smile

and look pERFECT

All I know is that he worked for

the government

I think I might be an Alien

that he brought home from work

(Guitar Noise!!!!)

My first memory is of being tested on.

And it’s not a very good one

All they can tell me

is they were trying to find out

what was wrong with me.

But I didn’t know

why all those needles

were in me.

All i know is that

I was an experiment.

Maybe that's why

and I don’t

feel human

and

I can’t relate.

I might be

a Psiop

or an alien,

Because my

Daddy worked

for the Government

and never let us in.

(Guitar!!!)

We lived on a hill

in the suburbs

I remember

the house was nice

and

had a manicured lawn

but to me

It

looked like

fake spray painted green styrofoam.

My life was so sterile

On my walls

I couldn't put posters

I felt like i slept

in a hospital bed

I was totally bummed out

That house was never a home

it felt more like a hospital

It didn’t feel right

I didn’t belong.

My neighbors all looked the same

They all looked like drones to me

Daddy didn't

come home

until

7pm.

My mother

always

packed

my lunch

because

Daddy

was never there

because

Daddy worked for the Government!

I don’t know anything

about him

he never let us in

His life was Top Secret

We all had to look

picture perfect

but I never felt human

I could never fake it

I must not be related

to him

because i feel so Alien

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

Daddy worked for the Government

How To Tell If Your Dad Is A Robot

-----------------------------------------------

He can’t get past a CAPTCHA on

Google Maps.

You've never heard him fart before.

When He walks his hinges squeak and need oiling.

He has no emotion.

He has no feelings.

He's programmed not to listen.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

My Dad's A Robot

—————————————————————————

All I know is

I have daddy issues.

But it’s more like robot issues

I hate men.

I want to kill men

I wanna cut my dick off and eat it

because

I have daddy issues.

If I was a woman I think I might not have to fake a smile. But I never knew what happiness felt like,

because

I have yet to walk IN HER shoes a mile.

I wanna cut my dick off and eat it.

because I have daddy issues

More like Robot issues!

(guitar solo)

i just want to feel beautiful.

I just want to kill all the men.

I think I would have fun

Come on girls,

and this time don't just take a stand!

Fuck this “Make Art Not War" slogan!

was meant to suppress,

It is now

the time to take direct action

don’t just take a stand!

So grab a gun or a knife

or whatever

is next to you

and kill all the men!

Or at least just put glue in all the locks of the men's restrooms at the Airport…

————————————————————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Vincent Gallo Is an Asshole

—————————————————————————

Driving down the street an his black Cadillac,

because he doesn't wanna be seen in an El Dorado.

Vincent Gallo is an Asshole.

He will only let Women buy and wear his cum stained autographed shirts that he sells on his website.

Because Vincent Gallo is an Asshole.

He makes good movies and he knows it too,

and will tell it over and over again to you.

Vincent Gallo is an Asshole.

He is trying to sell his sperm to female fans for one million dollars, plus air faire.

Vincent Gallo is a funny guy,

but also

he's an Asshole.

He called Ebert a, "Fat Pig! With a physique that of a Slave Trader!"

I fucking love Vincent Gallo.

He does all the work in his own movies and even wrote his on online biography.

Vincent Gallo is an Asshole.

He won't respond to emails if you're not a Republican

Vincent Gallo is an Asshole.

He's not afraid to put unsimulated fellatio in his movies.

because it's art,

and he's Vincent Gallo!

He even put that same controversial scene from the movie and advertised it on a giant billboard.

Vincent Gallo is an

Artist.

—————————————————————————

Travis Bickle

—————————————————————————

My name is Travis Bickle

I drive a cab

society has pissed me off

I’ve gone mad

I keep my gun right under my seat

Someday a real rain will come and clean the streets

I hate my job

I work the night-shift

I deal with scum from

9 to 6

one of these days I’m gonna blow my head off

and take all you scumbag mother fuckers

down with me

My name is Travis Bickle

I drive a cab

society stinks

I’ve gone mad

I keep my .44

right under my seat

One day a real rain will come and clean the streets

I hate society

—————————————————————————————————————————————

Wendy And Denny

------------------------

If I ever have 2 kids

I'm gonna name

them

Wendy and Denny

after the best

burgers in town

This song's for them

I named you Wendy

after a place

that had the best cheeseburgers

in town

the women all there where beautiful

and the patties were square

I loved eating there

with my father

on the weekends

we would have a good time

I enjoyed it there

They used high quality ingredients

not like the fake burgers we got now

they tasted so good

i wish you could've tried it

but i named you Wendy after my favorite place

to go

that place was perfect

just like you

Wendy you are my girl

i love you and

i hope you turn out well

I know it's tough

this place may seem like hell

but remember your name

and what it means to me

Oh Denny

my boy

I named you that

because

after I would

Rock N Roll

I would dine at this

restaurant

The waitresses were

all nice

and had great hair

They had a dish

called a grand slam

you would of loved it!

it's not like the fake cold food

were forced to eat now

And the best part

about going there,

was you got a free meal

on your birthday!

it was something else,

something beautiful

Denny's was a magical place!

Denny My boy

I hope

life treats you well

I know sometimes

people don't want to live

when life brings you down

just remember your name

and think of that place

Denny's

Oh Wendy and Denny...

Adelle

————

I drank all the beers

this morning

thinking of you

and now I don’t know what to do

I don’t feel well

I really miss you,

Adelle

I chugged all the caramel flavored syrup

thinking of you

trying to

cope with a life without.

i know its been

10 years

but Adelle

I’m still

in love with you.

I wish you were

still in my life.

I hope you are well

I love you, Adelle

—————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Fuck This Fucking Town - Out of tune In F minor

————————————————

No!

I don’t want to go downtown

all i see are

fake people

plastic smiles

I hate the way they stare

at me

They look at me

very uncomfortably

they don’t care about

anyone

but themselves

judgmental pricks

stuck in their shells

This town bums me out I want to leave

but can’t

who let out the steeple

because

fuck all these people

this town

really brings me down

this town

When I think about it

all I can do is Frown

in this town

so fuck this fucking town

—————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

I Wanna Fuck You With My Knife - (Don’t Fuck My Wife )

——————————————————————————

You shouldn’t have fucked my wife

I logged into her email

and saw the Craigslist ad

and now I wanna

fuck you

with my knife

I'M GOING TO END YOUR LIFE

I thought about strangling you

and blow torching

your face

so on the way home I stopped off at ACE

I hope she was worth it

because

now

I now

she isn’t

Tom Petty

was singing about

guys like you

So don’t come around here no more

or I will fuck you with my knife

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

CEDU

—————————————————————————

It was true.

They were all rapists

in cahoots

with CHABAD

Epstein, Donald Trump

even Steven hawking

it makes me sad.

Fuck Scientologists

and

Fuck Charles E Deidrich

They put a Rattlesnake

in the Lawyers mailbox

And silenced

the witnesses.

II am Patient 1138

The Troubled Teen Industry Is A Scam

I know because

I am Patient 1138

- Excerpt from a release in the near future titled, “Filthy Brains”.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Patient 1138

—————————————————————————

When

They sent me away

i wanted to die

They fucked with my head

They murdered me inside

Im in a place

now

that’s worse

than Hell

i stopped wanting to exist

a long time ago

I'm starting to think I was a Psy-Op

because all i feel is pain

and I'm pissed off

i was patient 1138

they programmed me

so all i can feel is this pain

i tried to fight it

i tried to resist

but they washed my brain

clean with their guilty tongues

everyday

i wanted to die

they turned

my body into

a cell

the pain,

these memories

locked inside.

they took my shadow,

and threw away the keys

and left me with nothing

TO SUFFER

locked inside

my own hell

i was patient 1138

they programmed me to

feel pain

and to hate

they stole my happiness

cuddle time

with your rapist

left alone

staring at the wall

trapped

inside this prison

they took my shadow,

they threw away the keys

and left me with nothing.

ever since then

i wanted to die

They fucked with my head

They murdered me inside

Im in a place

now

that’s worse

than Hell

i stopped wanting to exist

a long time ago

i think we are in hell

I'm starting to think I was a PsyOp

because all i feel is pain

and I'm pissed off

i was patient 1138

they programmed me

to always feel like shit

i tried to fight it

i tried to resist

but they washed my brain

clean with their filthy tongues

everyday

i wanted to die

they turned

my body into

a cell

the pain,

locked inside.

they took my shadow,

they threw away the keys

and left me with nothing.

i was patient 1138

i was patient 1138

—————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Mother Earth’s Cunt

—————————————————————————

Mother Earth’s Cunt

dripping

life sustaining fluid

down onto

worm like creatures

with teeth

They survive solely

on the acidic juices of her cunt

They are forced

to cause each other

pain

because

pain makes her wet

When she bleeds

it falls like acid rain,

burning the creatures skin

They continue to attack each other to survive

The Vultures

eat the dead,

tearing away

the flesh.

There is

an awful

smell that lingers.

its mother earth's aging

drying cunt

slowly rotting away

The worms are grateful just to be alive

They are too dumb

to have a

point of view

Mother earth’s Cunt continues

to barely provide,

living off the pain and the suffering.

One day Mother Earth’s Cunt

began

to drip dry.

The worms were

afraid to die.

So the violence

intensified.

But,

One day

Mother earth’s Cunt dripped dry.

And the worms all fucking died.

The Vultures ate the dead

and feasted

on Mother Earth’s dead Cunt

—————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

I Once Saw Jim Morrison (When I Was Having A Manic Episode)

—————————————————————————

I wanna die like Jim Morrison/ in the bathtub!

but I’ll die beautiful and not die fat because i have a better looking body than that!

Dammit Jim you should of never went full retard you used to look good in those black leather pants.

I still love you madly and feel your pain.

I play Rock N Roll because i feel Jim Morrison’s pain.

I wanna die for Rock N Roll because I feel Jim Morrison’s pain.

I spoke to him in a schizophrenic hallucination when I had a manic episode once.

I asked him if it's TRUE that he only owned one pair of leather pants?

And he said that he got a job at a used furniture store in the afterlife called “The Leather King" and he can “get me a good deal on anything.”

He started trying to up-sell me on a used sleeper sofa combo with real low monthly payments. I asked him if money is still a thing when you get to the after life? And he told me hell ya! “You gotta make dat cheddar if u wanna keep slaying that coochie!”. We both laughed and took a double shot of bottom shelf whiskey and cringed. One time I saw Jim Morrison….

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————

GG AND JIM

———————————————————————

I GOT THESE TWO ANGELS

ON MY SHOULDERS

ONE GOES BY THE NAME GG

AND THE OTHER

SAYS HE’S JIM

THEY HELP ME OUT WITH MY LUCK

AND WHEN I GAMBLE THEY HELP ME WIN

I GOT THESE 2 BEAUTIFUL ANGELS

SITTING ON MY SHOULDERS

THERE NAMES ARE

GG AND JIM

GG TELLS ME TO DO MEAN THINGS

SOMETIMES

JIM’S JUST AS BAD

BUT

THESE 2 ANGELS

SING TO ME

PRETTY THINGS

THEY HELP ME WRITE

ALL MY POETRY

ALL THE TIME

I FEEL TOUGH

WITH THEM BY MY SIDE

GG SAYS

TO GO ALL OUT

DON’T HOLD BACK

DON’T CENSER MYSELF

AND RIGHT THEN JIM BUDS IN WITH

BECAUSE THEN THE MAN WINS!”

GG AND JIM

TOLD ME

THEY

DIED FOR ROCK N ROLL

AND FOR OUR SINS

I GOT THESE 2 SWEET ANGELS

WHO SING TO ME

SO BEAUTIFULLY

THEY TICKLE MY EARS

EVERYTIME

THEY SING

IT LETS ME KNOW

THAT THEY ARE HERE

WITH ME,

ALWAYS

AROUND ME

PROTECTING ME.

THEY SAID THEY WERE AT PEACE UP THERE

BUT WERE BORED

SO THEY TRACKED ME DOWN

THE LAST ROCK N ROLLER ALIVE

LEFT IN THIS SHITTY SMALL TOWN

THEY LIKE TO

SING TO ME

AND

HELP ME WRITE POETRY

ANY TIME YOU WANT

YOU GUYS CAN

LIVE AGAIN THROUGH ME

I GOT THESE 2 ANGELS ON MY SHOULDERS

THERE NAMES ARE

GG AND JIM

I LIKE THEM

THEY ARE FRIENDS OF MINE

WHO

PROTECT ME FROM

EVIL

AND

DEPRESSION

GG AND JIM

DIED FOR ROCK N ROLL

AND THEY DIED FOR OUR SINS

I GOT THESE 2 ANGELS

ON MY SHOULDERS

NAMED

GG AND JIM

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I LOVE THE BANDS THAT ADD AN X TO THE BEGINING AND END OF THE BAND NAME. FOR EXAMPLE THE BAND XTOMHANXX. THOSE GUYS ARE FUNNY DUDES. PLAYED ONCE AT MY HOUSE AND SOLD ME SOME STICKERS THAT SAID, “KILL YOUR PARENTS”.

————————————————————————

BAND NAMES — (NEED A BAND NAME? IF THEY’RE NOT TAKEN, CHOOSE ONE FROM BELOW. I’M NOT GOING TO USE THEM. EMAIL ME SOME MUSIC IF YOU EVER GET A BAND TOGETHER)

————————————————————————

STEP MOTHER ALIEN

GOOD GUY DISCOUNT

THE MENS WHOREHOUSE

BOMB THREAT BURRITO

BOOK CLUB

BOMB BURRITO

BURRITOS RULE

BAD FEELING

EMPTY PACK OF CIGARETTES

PATIENT WIFE

PATIENT1138

THE NAVY

JOHN WATERS HIS LAWN AND THE SUBURBAN MOMS

GAY NAVY SAILERS

NASA

GAY ASTRONAUT

PARTY FOUL OF 5

BUTTHOLE

MY CAT BUTTHOLE

HIDDEN CAMERA TV SHOW

NANNY CAM AND THE CAM GIRLS

TOP SECRET DAD

TOP SECRET WEAPON

THIS BODY IS A WEAPON

NOT SANE

SANE

PUSSY MAGNET

I’M DYING

DYING TONIGHT

SUICIDAL BABYSITTER

GIRLFRIEND IN A PORNO

ACCIDENTAL OVERDOSE

DIE TONIGHT

BOY PARTS

IN DENIAL

DOABLE GRANNY

BODY PARTS

BLACK PHLEGM

BLACK CUM

CUMMING BLACK

CUMMING BLOOD

HOLLYWOOD SCUM

PIZZAGATE

MURDERED GIRLFRIEND

MURDER THE GOVERNMENT

ASHTRAY MAGGIE

BUFFALO SEX-CHANGE

FAMILY SEX-CHANGE

GUILTY BUT MENTALLY ILL

WOODCHIPPER SUICIDE

NAUSCIOUS GASSES

TALKING TO GHOSTS

I HATE THIS WORLD

FLESH WOUNDS

TOXIC SPUTNUM

CONTAGIOUS TO HUMANS

CODERORR

TOO MANY HUMANS

THE ANDY KAUFMAN CONSPIRACY

TOXIC SPUTNUM

TREATMENT RESISTANT DEPRESSION

H.A.G.S!!! (HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!!!)

COLLANOPEAN

XANAX OVERDOSE

xanaxdeth

OVERDOSEXXX

XXXANAXXX

X-OVERxDOSE-X

LOOSE CUNT

WIFE SWAP

XGOODWIFEX

SALTED WOUNDS

FAKE FRIENDS

THE DONNY FOUNDATION

THE DEAD BEST FRIENDS CLUB

WOODCHIPPER SUICIDE

WOODCHIPPER SUICIDE PACT

XWOODCHIPPERX

FAKE PREGNANCY

ASSBURGERS

CANNIBAL EATING DISORDER

CANNIBAL PICNIC

CAR BOMB

BUG BOMB

CRACKED OUT GRANDMA

DEADBEAT GRANDPA

FART BOMB

PENIS PUMP

USED SEX TOYS

FAKE ILLNESS

GOODWILL DILDOS

ASHTRAY MAGGIE

JIM MORISON ARMY

XTIMETRAVELLERX

GOING NOWHERE FAST

SUICIDE HOTLINE

1-800-SUICIDE

1-800-KILL-YOURSELF

XSUICIDEHOTLINEX

STUDENT OF THE MONTH

HONER ROLL STUDENT

XHONERXROLLXSTUDENTX

DADTHERAPIST

MOMTHERAPIST

THE GOLDEN GIRLS

THE GOLDEN SHOWER GIRLS

HEADCUTOFF

XHEADCUTOFFX

HAHAHAHAHA

SOCIOPATH DRONE OPERATOR

FEELING BAD

RACIST DAD

CLINICALLY ILL

RACIST GRANDPA

POWER TOOLS

LACK EMPATHY

BABYKILL

CHADKILLER

XCHADKILLERX

DOCK MARTIN DENTAL PLAN (IF YOU PLAY OI!)

BOTCHED FACELIFT

FACELIFT DISASTER

MIDGET BIKINNI GUN

BAD PARENTS

WORSE

FLESH TERROR

FEDERAL BOOTY INSPECTOR (F.B.I.)

PATIENT/THERAPIST

MY DAD IS A ROBOT

PINK SHOTGUN

BOOT SQUAD BEATDOWN (IF YOU PLAY OI!)

BEATDOWN BOYS

BEATOFF BOYZ

SUBURBAN LAWN

SUBURBAN MOM

MANICURED LAWN

THE SUBURBS

PLASTIC MOM

GOOD REPUBLICAN

PROM NIGHT MASSACRE

SHITTER

SISTER SPY KIT

LEFT ALONE

WHOPPY GOLDBERG’S DICK

DANNY DEVITO FINGERBANG

ON DRUGS

DUDE RUGS!

PIE FUCKER

PIG FUCKER

XDUDERUGS!X

FARTING DRUGS

XJUDGEX

GUTTER SHITTER

JUDGED

JUDGE JUDY

XJUDGEJUDYX

DILLAUDIN DRIP

COCAINE DRIP

GIRLS GONE WILD!

XGIRLSXGONEXWILD!X

GAY BABY

PINK ELEPHANT

PINKSOCK

TERRIBLE IDEA

(PLEASE RELEASE FIRST ALBUM CALLED, “ THIS IS NOT FUN ANYMORE”. THEN FOR THE SECOND ALBUM CALL IT, “WHY ARE WE STILL DOING THIS?”.)

SHANE AND THE SHANE COMPANY

XJOHNNYDEEPX

XSETHROGANX

WEEKEND DAD

AWESOME DAD

BEST DAD

#1SON

PART-TIME BAND

PART-TIME-HUMAN

PART-TIME-KILLERS

PART-TIME FRIENDS

THE ARTISTS

KILLING ME

ALIEN

ALLEN

ROBOT DICK

ROBOT CIRCUMCISION

BLACK CUM STAIN

BLEACH ABORTON

SUICIDE CLUB

THE SUICIDE PACT BABYSITTERS CLUB

FINGER

GOOD WIFE

HOUSE WIFE

GOOD GIRLFRIEND

KILLER GIRLFRIEND

SEXY GIRLFRIEND

SIT AND BEHAVE

GOOD GIRL

SEEING THINGS

HOT DOG IN A HALLWAY

I’M ON DRUGS

SERIAL KILLER

NOVOCAIN BRAIN DRIP

COURTNEY LOVES DILLAUDIN DRIP (AND THE WHORES)

FAILURE IS THE ONLY OPTION

WEIRD FEELINGS

GUARANTEED TO FAIL

MONEY BACK GUARANTEED*

GAURANTEED*

REAL WOMAN

FAKE GIRLFRIEND

XJOHNWATERSX

JOHN WATERS AND THE SUBURBAN LAWNS

DIVORCE COURT

STEP DAD

ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

HIDING PLACE

RETARDED ART

RETARD ART

BIG DAD DICK

FAILEDARTIST

JAR OF EYEBALLS

EYEBALLS IN A JAR

HUMAN BODY COLLECTION

GOING BLIND

DEAD BODY

XDEADBODYX

SCHITZO

XSCHITZOXANDXTHEXCLOWNSX

KILLING BABIES

NO VACCINE

CASUAL DINNER

CASUAL LIVING

MICROWAVABLE CAT

STEAK SEERED AND THE TEARS OF DEAD PUPPIES

DEAD PUPPY CLUB

DEAD PUPPIES

XDEADPUPPIESX

COMING DOWN

FORCEDTOCUM

BABYSITTERS ON ACID

XACIDMELTFACEX

ACIDMELTFACE

OVEN SUICIDE

STOP

CIGARETTE BURNS

BURN MOTHERFUCKER

MOTHERFUCKER

XMOTHERFUCKERX

NOT SURE

ABORTION CLINIC

PROPAIN

PROPAINE

EATING DISORDER BOOK CLUB

ANOREXIC BABYSITTERS CLUB

EATING DISORDER BABYSITTERS CLUB

GIRLS ONLY CLUB

GROUP THERAPY

BABYSITTER BOOK CLUB

SUICIDE PACT DROPOUT

SISTERS PANTIES

BIG DICK ATTITUDE

MOM JEANS

DAD JEANS

CONFUSION IS SEX

NEW DAD AND THE JEANS

MY NEW PEP PEP

BOYFRIEND CLUB

ROTTEN PERSONALITY

BAD GIRLFRIEND

SEX SELLS

SEX CELLS

BOYFRIEND OF THE MONTH

BOYFRIEND OF THE MONTH CLUB

MINIMUM WAGE JOB

MINIMUM WAGE SERIAL KILLERS

FUTURE SERIAL KILLERS

HEARING THINGS

EXPLODED EARS

DIMENTIA

SUNDOWNER

XSUNDOWNERX

mail order wife

WEIRD THINGS

GLOW IN THE DARK PUSSY

BAD THOUGHTS

TERMINALLY ILL

PHARMACEUTICAL GIRLS

THE PHARMACY GIRLS

FREE COCAINE

I DON’T KNOW

#1 son

RAPED DOG

HEARING LOSS

HALF DEAF BLIND GIRL

DEAF BLIND GIRL

THE HALF DEAF BLIND GIRL BEATDOWN CLUB

ASKING FOR IT

NERVOUS WRECK

NERVOUS BEAT DOWN

NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

DHIAREA FLAVORED CANDY

AMATUER PORN

AMATUER PORNSTAR

NUDE TEENS

LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE

OCD ROOMMATE

BAD DENTAL PLAN

PROLAPSED ANUS

HARDLY WORKING

SICK TO MY STOMACH

SUICIDE BY COP

BARELY WORKING

NOT WORKING

UNEMPLOYED

MY X WIFE AND THE HURT FEELINGS

DISABLED

TOTALLY RETARDED

RED HEADED STEPCHILD

EATING OUT GRANDMA

BAD CHOICES

FLESH PEELER

DAD DICK

FEARING THE WORST

WORST POSSIBLE SITUATION

HEAD TRAUMA

SERIOUS INJURY

SELF HARM

HEAD ON COLLISION

DRINKING AND DRIVING

ROBOT BLOWJOB

XBLOWJOBX

XROBOTBLOWJOBX

PREPARING FOR THE WORST

VCR BLOWJOB

VITAMIN DEFFICIANT

NO FRIENDS

XINSANEX

BODY SHAMED

LUNCH TIME

LUNCH TIME ABORTION BUFFET

MY FAT WIFE AND THE CHEETO PUFFS

DOING DRUGS

FUN DRUGS

PARTY FAVORS

HAPPY ENDING

IRRATATED

BAD INFECTION

BLACK DOTS

BAD LIVER

BAD PEOPLE

BUTTSEX

BUTTFUCKER

1-900-BIG-DICK

CUTXOFFXDICK

MUTANT COCK

PEN15

THE PEN15 CLUB

THE PEN FIFTEEN CLUB

XDICKRICHARDICKX

CUMSTAINED SWEATER

CUMSTAINED BLOUSE

TALKING TO GHOSTS

SATIN

SMALL PENIS SYNDROM

SMALL PENIS

JEFFRY DAHMER TEST TUBE BABY

ABORTION CLINC

GOING BACKWARDS

BACKWARDS MAN

SIDEWAYS VAGINA

WORNG CROWD

THE WRONG CROWD

WRONG CROWD OF PEOPLE

ARE YOU SERIAL?

SHARED VAGINA

COMMUNAL CUNT

SIMEESE TWIN VAGINA

NO CONDOM

NO CONDOMS

LATEX ALLERGY

IS THIS REAL

god© IS A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER

FAKE COLLEGE

RIPPED OFF

NOT OK

ARTIFICIAL LIFE

ALIEN AUTOPSY

HUMAN EXPERIMENT

BOTCHED SUICIDE FAMILY PORTRAIT

BOTCHED SUICIDE SCHOOL PICTURE

INSUFFICIANT FUNDS

NO MONEY

UNEMPLOYED BOYFRIEND

LOSER BOYFRIEND

BAD DISEASE

BAD PERSONALITY

PIGFUCKER

THE TOUGHGUYS

WEIRD FEELING

NOT NORMAL

NOT RIGHT

NO WAY

DRUNK DAUGHTER

SUPERGLUED VAGINA

MISSING BOY PARTS

CREEPY FEELINGS

GROCERY BAG CONDOM

LOOSE CONDOM

99 PROBLEMS

99STABWOUNDZ

FINGER TRAP

COCK HANDCUFFS

CLUELESS

INTO THE WOODCHIPPER

HIDING INSDE A WOODCHIPPER

BAD FRIENDS

BARRY WHITE BEATDOWN CLUB

MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION

HIGHLIGHTS

RANGER RICK AND THE BIG FUCKING DICKS

FORCED TO UPDATE

WIFE UPGRADE

3 WEEKS DETENTION

KILLER CLASSMATES

INSIDE BARBBAQUE

ENDLESS LIFE ENDURING PAIN

HEARTLESS MONSTER

MONSTER WITH A HEART

SHARP OBJECTS

BIG DAD DICK

DICK MEASURING CONTEST

PENIS CONTEST

PENIS/RULER

PENIS RULER

PENIS SIZE

DOWNGRADE

THE BAD LYMPH NODES

GLUTON FREE ASSHOLE

XGLUTTONFREEX

KILLER FEMALE

FLOSS

ELECTRICAL TAPE

ELECTRICAL TAPED BOYFRIEND

SUICIDE BATHTUB

OLDER SISTER’S BOYFRIEND

PIERCED NIPPLES

DEMOTED TO DISHWASHER

SMOKING MONKEYS

EAT SHIT AND THE DIES

MOTHER/FUCKER

BRAINWASHER

BRAINWASHER AND THE DRYERS

MANDATORY OVERTIME

MANDATORY SENTANCE

ASSBURGERS

ASS BURGERS

XASSBURGERSX

NOUXIOUS FUMES

FAKE ID

NOT RIGHT

MY NEW BOYFRIEND

NEW BOYFRIEND

MAIL-ORDER BOYFRIEND

BAD DATE

——

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

BLACK PHLEGM

—————————————————————————

THEY SAY I HAVE DARK SPOTS

ON MY LUNGS

I COUGH UP BLACK SHIT

ALL DAY LONG

AT NIGHT

IT’S HARD TO BREATH

MY INHALER REALLY ISN’T HELPING ME

I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE

BUT I DON’T THINK

I GOT MUCH LEFT

MY LUNGS

ARE A TAR PIT

IM TRYING MY

BEST TO NOT SMOKE

BUT IT IS SO

HARD WHEN I’M DRUNK

OR FUCKING STRESSED

LIKE WHEN I RAN INTO THE DUDE

WHO’S CURRENTLY BANGING MY EX

I HAVE

BLACK LUNGS

FILLED WITH

BLACK PHLEGM

AND

COUGH UP

SHIT

THAT LOOKS LIKE

BLACK CUM

WHEN I CLEAR MY THROAT

I GAG

I FEEL LIKE IM DROWNING

IN THIS BLACK PHLEGM

AND I CAN’T SWIM

IM GOING TO DROWN

IN THIS BLACK TAR PIT

I ONCE MET THE MARLBORO MAN

I MET HIM AT MY COUSIN’S WEDDING

HE DIDN’T LOOK TOO GOOD BACK THEN

HE’S PROBABLY DIED SINCE THEN

I JUST DON’T WANNA DIE LIKE THE MARLBORO MAN

I DON’T WANNA DROWN IN MY BLACK PHLEGM

I TRY NOT TO SMOKE

CIGGARETTES

BUT IM TOO STRESSED OUT

AND DEPRESSED

I DON’T WANNA DIE LIKE THE MARLBORO MAN

I

COUGH UP

SHIT

THAT LOOKS LIKE

BLACK CUM

WHEN I CLEAR MY THROAT

I GAG

I FEEL LIKE IM DROWNING

IN THIS BLACK PHLEGM

I CAN’T SWIM

IN THIS BLACK PHLEGM

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

NO REFLECTION

—————————————————————————

I WALKED BY A CRACKED MIRROR

YESTERDAY

AND NOTICED THAT

I CAN NO LONGER SEE MY REFLECTION

I STARTED TO PANIC

DIDN’’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

SO I DROVE UPTOWN

TO THE FUNHOUSE MIRROR ATTRACTION

AND THERE TOO

I COULD NOT SEE

MYSELF

WITHIN THE WARPED

FILTHY HAND PRINT COVERED

MIRRORS’ REFLECTIONS

I'M FREAKING OUT

HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHADOW?

I CAN’T SEEM TO FIND THAT THING TOO

I WAS TIRED OF IT ANYWAYS

IM GLAD ITS GONE MISSING

HE’S LOST AND NEEDS HIS MEDS

I THINK HE

TURNED IT’S BACK ON ME TOO

AND COULD BE THE GHOST

THAT I SEE IN MY ROOM

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

NO FRIENDS

—————————————————————————

DON’T NEED THEM

NEVER WANTED THEM

NEVER DID

DON’T LIKE THEM

THEIR PLASTIC

WHEN THEY

LIE TO MY FACE

I WANT TO PUNCH THEM

I HATE ALL THEIR FACES

I DON’T WANT

ANY FRIENDS

SO DON’T CALL ME

AND I WON’T CALL YOU

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

NO FRIENDS

I DON’T NEED THEM

NO FRIENDS

NO MORE PROBLEMS

DON’T LIKE THEM

DON’T NEED THEM

NEVER DID WANT THEM

I HOW I LIKE

HAVING NO FRIENDS

I WISH I WAS

DEAD

OR BLIND

I DON’T WANT ANY FRIENDS

AND I HATE ALL OF YOU

SO DON’T CALL ME

AND I WON’T CALL YOU

I LIKE HAVING NO FRIENDS

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

YOU’RE THE ONLY BARTENDER THAT WILL SERVE ME DRINKS IN THIS TOWN —————————————————————————

YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL

I WANT YOU TO KILL ME

TO DIE BY YOUR KNIFE

WOULD BE SUCH

A GLORIOUS WAY TO DIE

JUST

MAKE IT LOOK

LIKE WE HAD ROUGH SEX

WITH NO FOREPLAY

ABUSE MY BODY

JUST DON’T MAKE IT LOOK AN ACCIDENT

I WANT YOUR NUMBER GIRL

I WANNA HANG OUT

AND WATCH

VINCENT GALLO MOVIES

ALL NIGHT

AND PASS OUT

ON THE COUCH

WITH YOU BY MY SIDE

WHENEVER I WALK INTO THE BAR

AND YOU’RE WORKING

I FEEL COMPLETE

YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS

AND MY LYMPH NODES HURT

YOU MAKE MY HEART

BEGIN TO BEAT AGAIN

AND IT

NO LONGER HURTS

SO

LETS GO BACK TO MY

PLACE TONIGHT

AND SPIN SOME DEAD BOYS RECORDS

BECAUSE I’M A DEAD GIRL

AND I NEED LUNCH

COME HOME WITH ME TONIGHT

I PROMISE

I’LL BE NICE

I’M DEPRESSED

AND JUST WANNA WATCH

VINCENT GALLO MOVIES

WITH YOU TONIGHT

LAST TIME I WAS

AT THE BAR

YOU SAID YOU LIKED BUFALO 66

THAT SCENE WHEN

WHEN THEY ARE REVERSE SPOONING

AND NOT FACING

EACH OTHER IN BED

AND I THOUGHT RIGHT THEN

AND THERE

BABE THAT COULD BE US!

BUT I’M JUST A SHY GIRL

WHO LIKES TO DREAM

IN A SMALL TOWN

FULL OF JOCKS

YOU’RE SO COOL

LAST TIME I SAW YOU

YOU SAID

FUCK HEINIKAN,

PABST BLUE RIBBON!

WELL,

FUCK HEINIKEN,

I NEED A REAL WOMAN!

YOU CAN BE MY CHRISTINA RICCI

AND I WILL

BE YOUR SLAVE

I PROMISE TOO BE

A GOOD GIRL

AND BEHAVE

OR IF YOU JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS

I’M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT

I JUST WANNA

WATCH VINCENT GALLO MOVIES

WITH YOU TONIGHT!

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU

—————————————————————————

I’M DROWNING IN BLEACH

TRYING

TO SCRUB MY SKIN CLEAN

OF YOU

I NEVER WANT

YOU TO TOUCH ME AGAIN

YOU SAID THAT

I WAS A GOOD BOYFRIEND

YOU LIED TO MY FACE

BECAUSE YOU FUCKED

ALL MY FRIENDS

YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE A LESBIAN

BUT I DON’T THINK YOU ARE,

BECAUSE YOU FUCKED ALL MY FRIENDS!

YOU ARE NOT EVEN A PART-TIME LESBIAN

YOU JUST LIKE TO SUCK DICKS

AND I HATE YOU

BECAUSE YOU FUCKED ALL MY FRIENDS!

(GUITAR GO!!!!)

(FIGHTS AUDIENCE MEMBERS)

I’M STARTING TO ITCH

ON MY DICK

NOW I HAVE TO GO GET IT CHECKED OUT

AND I FUCKING HATE NEEDLES UP MY COCK!

BUT I HATE YOU MORE

I HAVE A THEORY

NOW HERE ME OUT,

I THINK IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE

YOU FUCKED ALL MY FRIENDS!

SO PACK UP YO SHIT AND BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT!

(GUITAR GO!!!!)

YOU ARE A LIAR

A SKANK

AND I DON’T LIKE YOU

YOU SNAKE

YOU TOLD ME

NICE THINGS

BUT I WAS A FOOL TO TRUST YOU!

I MUST CONFESS

I WAS LYING WHEN WE WERE BANGING

AND SAID YOU LOOK LIKE UMA THURMAN

THAT WAS A LIE!*(*READ THIS LINE AS MAURY POVICH. LOL)

SO PACK UP YOUR SHIT AND GET A MOVING!!

(GUITAR GO!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(FIGHTS AUDIENCE MEMBERS)

(PISSES ON OPENING BANDS MERCH TABLE)

(FIGHTS ANGRY OPENING BAND BY HIMSELF)

(GETS TAXI WHILE HOLDING A KNIFE TO DENNY’S)

(ORDERS A BIG STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE)

(HITS ON WAITRESS LIKE IT WAS THE 90’S!)

(GUITAR GO!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(GOES HOME ALONE AND WATCHES FRIENDS RERUNS)

(CRIES WHILE EATING ICE CREAM)

(LOGS ON TO BANGBROS GAY VERSION)

(GUITAR GO!!!!!!!)

I’M GOING TO DROWN YOU IN THIS BATHTUB OF BLEACH TONIGHT!

I WANT TO HOLD YOUR FACE DOWN,

WATCH YOU

SQUIRM AROUND

AND MAKE BUBBLES.

I WANT TO WATCH YOU DROWN GIRL.

BECAUSE I FEEL USED.

IVE SCRUBBED MY SKIN UNTIL IT BLED,

BUT I CAN STILL SMELL THE SCENT OF YOU!!!!!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

TRYING TO CLEAN MY SKIN OF YOU!

BUT I CAN STILL SMELL THE SCENT OF YOU!!!!!

————————————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

My Cell Phone Always Plays The Sound Of Rain

——————————————————————

My cellphone always plays

the sound of rain

its so relaxing

try it out

its nice

but i notice I’m peeing more often...

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————————————

Leave My Body In The Rain

————————————————

I want to go where it rains forever,

I want to drink my Earl Grey

while smoking cigarettes

and watching old reruns of Carol Burnett.

I want to fly.

I wish I was a bird

The rain comforts me from this horrible dimension. Breathing is hard to do

when you don't want to anymore.

I like to cry

and watch The Carol Burnett Show

I don’t have any friends

and I ran out of smokes

and that’s why

I’m alone

watching TV

with my gun

and I’m all out of hope

I want to go where it rains forever.

Please take me there.

on the next real rain

Take my body to the field

and lay there

Burn an effigy.

If it's cold outside,

Please feel free to burn my body

and

use me

for warmth

and light.

But then

leave me in the rain.

Leave My Body In The Rain

Send my letters

To all the people that let me down,

In this shitty town.

Maybe they will finally

listen to me

When I’m gone

And no longer around.

I like to cry because it reminds me of the rain.

I want to go where it rains forever.

I'm all out of Earl Grey

Take me to the field,

on the next real rain.

Leave me alone

on the field in the rain

(GUITAR SOLO)

My dead best friend

said he would come back

as a Dragon Fly.

I saw him a couple of times,

though it’s been a few years.

That was the last time

I felt kind of ok.

and I don’t want to

have to keep feeling that way.

I’m going to come back

as a 100 year storm

That will swallow this fucking world

I will drown you all in my tears

I’m going to bed now

so goodbye, and farewell

it's time to go.

Please,

Leave My Body In The Rain

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Hey, thanks everybody. I'm Mars von Aurelius and I am having a nervous breakdown. I don’t feel well. I gotta go now. I hope this book inspires one person to continue real ROCK N ROLL! Good night!”

-Mars von Aurelius

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————-———————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——ERROR CODERROR—————WARNING!————————————————————————

—————SYSTEM MALFUNCTION!————————

—————————————————————————

—————WARNING!——————WARNING!——

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————CPU OVERHEATING!!!!—————————————————————————

—————PREPARE TO SELF DESTRUCT————

————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——ERROR CODERROR—————WARNING!————————————————————————

—————SYSTEM MALFUNCTION!————————

—————————————————————————

—————WARNING!——————WARNING!————————————————————————————————-—MELTDOWN!———————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————

——————————

———————

—————

..

./END

...OR IS IT???

\..

.

…….

——

—————

—————————

—————————————

—————

—————

———

———————

—————————————

—————————————

—————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——BEGIN ETERNAL SLEEP MODE---------------

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

————————————————————

—————LOADING FILES -----------------------------——————————————————————————————————————————————————————ROCK.N.ROLL.PLAYLIST.pls—LOADED———

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————DMT.TRIP.FOREVOR.exe—LOADED----------———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————TO ENTER PUNK ROCK HEAVEN————

—————————————————————————

————— PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE-------------——————————————————————————————————————————————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————PLEASE WAIT——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————--LOADING—MARS.von.AURELIUS.LIFE.exe———

—————————————————————————————————SCANNING FOR MALWARE AND VIRUSES——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

$$$$$AD$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$AD$$$$$$$$$$$$$AD$$$$$$AD$$$$$$$AD$$$$$$$$AD$$$$$$$$$$$$AD$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$PUNK ROCK $$HEAVEN V3.0.1.777$$$

UPGRADE TO PRO VERSION OF PUNK ROCK HEAVEN AND UNLOCK THIS APPS FULL POTENTIAL! NO MORE WAITING IN TO GET JUDGED! FOR $99.99 CLICK BELOW, FOR MORE DETAILS ON QUICK-JUDGE©* EXTRA!

—————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————(“god© DAMN! PUNK ROCK REALLY DID SELL OUT!)———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

(“DAMN I SHOULD MAYBE CLICKED AND UPGRADED TO QUICK-JUDGE©! WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!”)

——————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT—————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

10 INCH PENIS GAURANTEED!!!*

ARE YOU AND YOUR DICK TIRED OF DOING DICK WORKOUTS?

ARE YOU TIRED OF NOT SATISFYING YOUR HOT CHICK? TRY THE NEW DICK MONSTER PILL CALLED EXTENSIVE LENGTH AND GIRTH© THESE PILLS ARE THE ONLY THING THATS WILL SAVE YOUR SAD MARRAGE!** MAYBE SHE MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE YOU*** AFTER YOU GET HUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!!**** GAURANTEED!!!!!*****

GO FROM THIS: 

( )( )lll )

TO THIS:

( )( )llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll )

—————————————————————————

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: *IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM DO WE GUARANTEE THAT EXTENSIVE LENGTH AND GIRTH© WILL DO ANYTHING. ANYTHING AT ALL. THERE IS EVIDENCE IN A DOUBLE PLACEBO STUDY THAT SUGGESTS THAT IT COULD DO THE OPPOSITE IF TAKEN if INDIVIDUAL IS REAL ROCK N ROLL. STUDIES HAVE SHOWN IN THE LAB THAT ROCK N ROLLERS HAVE LOST BETWEEN 1-10 INCHES OF LENGTH ON PENIS AND HAVE EXPERIENCE RESULTS IN THE STUDY THAT MAY OR MAY NOT SUGGEST THAT THE ROCK N ROLLERS GIRTH CAN DECREASE BY 6 INCHES. GG ALLIN FANS SHOULDN’T TAKE EXTENSIVE LENGTH AND GIRTH© WOMEN WHO ARE PREGNENT SHOULD NOT TAKE EXTENSIVE LENGTH AND GIRTH BECAUSE THERE MIGHT BE A %85 OF THE BABY BEING BORN WITH A BIG DICK IF TAKEN IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER. LATER STAGE USE FOR PREGNENT WOMAN HAVE ONLY BEEN APPROVED BY DOCTORS TO USE IN THE 2ND AND 3RD TRIMESTER. SIDE EFFECTS CAN BE SEVERE AND MAY INCLUDE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING: DICK BREATH, DRIVING A RAISED PICKUP TRUCK, BEING AN ASSHOLE WITH A BIG DICK AND A PICKUP TRUCK, INTEREST IN MEN, SHOPPING AT VICTORIAS SECRET, DENIAL, SHAME, AGRESSION AT SPORTS GAMES, CRAMPS, PAIN AND SUFFERING, BLOATED STOMACH, NAUSEA, CONFUSION, MAJOR EGO BOOST, AND SWEATY PALMS, PERMENANT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS FOREVOR, DRY MOUTH, LOOSE BUTTHOLE, HEADACHES * 10 INCH PENIS GUARANTEE IS NOT GUARANTEED. ** WE MAKE NO CLAIM THAT THESE PILLS WILL ACTUALLY SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. BECAUSE RESULTS AREN'T TYPICAL, AND AND SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED. *** WE MAKE NO CLAIM THAT THESE PILLS WILL ACTUALLY SAVE YOUR MARRAIGE BECAUSE RESULTS AREN'T TYPICAL AND AND SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED. SHE HATES YOU AND IS FUCKING ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS. ****HUUUUUUUUUGE!!!!! IS NOT A GUARANTEE, *****GUARANTEED!!!!! DOES NOT GAURANTEE ANYTHING.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————(“WHOA, THE GOVERNMENTS TRYING TO SHRINK YO DICK IN THE AFTERLIFE TOO!”)————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————(“THIS IS TAKING FOREVERRRRRR CAN’T WAIT TO GET IN AND TRACK DOWN GG AND JIM.”)————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————(“I JUST HOPE THE JUKE BOX IN PUNK ROCK HEAVEN ISN’T 10 BUCKS A SONG”)

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT————————————————————————————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

————————PLEASE WAIT——————————

——————SCAN COMPLETE!——————

——NO VIRUSES OR MALWARE FOUND!———

——————ACCESS GRANTED!—————————

—————————————————————————

—————PUNK ROCK APPROVED!————————

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

(“AWESOME! FINALLY! IF REINCARNATION IS TRUE, I WILL BE SURE TO REMEMBER TO UPGRADE TO QUICK-JUDGE© NEXT TIME!”)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

———UNLOCKING PUNK ROCK HEAVEN————————————————————————————CONGRATS MOTHER FUCKER!—————

—————————————————————————————————HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!———————————

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

EVERYTHING WENT WHITE AND I WOKE UP IN A CONVENIENCE STORE/VHS RENTAL PLACE. IT LOOKS LIKE THE ONE FROM CLERKS. WAIT, I THINK IT IS THE STORE FROM CLERKS. THE CIGARETTES ARE LIKE 20 BUCKS A PACK ! HOLY, SHIT! AND A BIC LIGHTER COSTS $3.00. I DON’T THINK I CAN AFFORD LIVING HERE FOR TOO MUCH LONGER. I NEED TO FIND A JOB. MAYBE WHEN I SEE JIM HE CAN GET ME A JOB AT THE LEATHER KING. THEN I COULD USE MY EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT THERE. SO, I WAKE UP HERE AND MY PANTS WERE A LITTLE LOOSE ON ME. I LOST SOME WEIGHT SOMEHOW GETTING HERE. I WAS PISSED THOUGH, BECAUSE MY BELT WAS A CHEAP SPIKED BELT FROM HOT TOPIC. I CALLED AROUND BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE PUNK ROCK STORE IN TOWN HERE. IT'S IN THE MALL AND IT'S CALLED, "DADDY ISSUES!". SO I HOPPED IN A CAB WITH TWO GUYS NAMED GG AND SID. THE CAB RIDE SMELLED TERRIBLE BECAUSE GG WAS COVERED IN SHIT! I DIDN'T MIND. THE WHOLE RIDE THERE SID KEPT COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS CHICK. PEOPLE I GUESS, ARE STILL SUFFERING HERE TOO...

WE PULLED UP TO THE MALL AND WENT INSIDE TO "DADDY ISSUES!". I LOOKED AROUND AND THAT'S WHEN I RAN INTO JIM! WE WERE BOTH EMBARRASSED TO BE CAUGHT SHOPPING THERE! JIM SAID HE'S ONLY THERE BECAUSE HE PLAYED A SHOW LAST NIGHT, AND ON STAGE HE TRIED TO DO THE CLASSIC LIGHTER AND FART TRICK. HE SAID HE THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE A FART AND ENDED UP SHITTING HIS ONLY PAIR OF LEATHER PANTS THAT HE OWNED! WE BOTH LAUGHED, AND TOOK A DOUBLE SHOT OF WHISKY AND CRINGED. GOD DAMN, I LOVE JIM MORRISON.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ THIS IS A TRIAL VERSION OF PUNK ROCK $$$$

$ HEAVEN. TO PURCHASE THE FULL VERSION OF $

$$ PUNK ROCK HEAVEN WITH A MULTIPLE LIFETIME $$ $$$ SUBSCRIPTION TO QUICK-JUDGE©, PLEASE $$$

$$$$$$ INSERT MORE MONEY TO CONTINUE. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"AWWW FUCK I JUST SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON THIS FUCKING BELT!!!!"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"HEY, JIM? CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY"$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"NO? YOUR BROKE? YOU GOT FIRED? YOU CAME INTO WORK WEARING THE SAME LEATHER PANTS THAT YOU SHAT IN? I KNEW YOU ONLY OWNED ONE PAIR!!!! DAMN, THAT MEANS YOU HAD TO GO TO WORK RIGHT AFTER THE SHOW YOU PLAYED THAT NIGHT? THAT SUCKS. AND IT REALLY SUCKS THAT THEY LAID YOU OFF DOWN THERE AT THE LEATHER KING. FUCK THOSE GUYS. I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO CRAIGSLIST A FREE COUCH OR MAYBE FIND ONE ON THE STREET. I JUST HOPE ITS NOT INFESTED WITH FLEAS."$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"DAMN, I WAS REALLY EXCITED TO USE YOUR EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT SO I COULD GET AN EVEN BETTER DEAL THERE ON ANYTHING." $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$...

TO BE CONTINUED IN VOL. 2


SHELBYVILLE WRITTEN BY MARS VON AURELIUS -                                           
I. HUMAN:                                                                            The alarm clock was shouting at him to get up and face the pain of the world for just one more day. This routine reminded him of his ex, her pungent legacy all trapped inside his brand new modern compact AM/FM clock radio. Henry hates mornings. Henry hates afternoons. He dreams of strangling the evenings for what they have done to him for the past 27 years, only to wake up screaming in despair at his misfortune. Only one thing in this chocolate ice cream shit covered world mattered to Henry: Making it big. His eyelids would surrender to the night dreaming of a crowd; his cherry to this foul sundae everyone calls life. Not to be treated like a phantom is all he wanted from them. He forgot what it felt like to be alive. Henry forgot how to love, to be human. He didn't believe in therapy because he didn't trust how the job title is spelled. T-H-E R-A-P-I-S-T. It brings back the darkness to what's left of his beer drunken, torn, pathetic soul. "Fuck today!", he complains, his favorite mantra in life. He learned it from his father. The sound of his ex, Donna's nagging voice still piercing his inner ears to the edge of mania. A Christmas present from her he will always remember. He hammer punches her memory as he grinds his teeth into powder. Henry may not have been born a butterfly, but Henry was born with a gift so powerful that it could make society forget about money. He was born with a voice. He felt ill when he was out in public and never had the chance to show the world that he wasn't a loser. The only person that knows his secret is the mailman that overheard him in the garage singing to a Sinatra record that had been abused with one too many spilled beers. He would like to be famous but knows if he got to Hollywood he would be dead in a week. The living room has sufficed up until now. Today is the day Henry is back on his old medication. His mental state has steadily declined ever since his best friend past away several years ago from an asthma attack. For the past year he became unstable due to the medication change, ending him in and out of hospitals. He was there so often they would leave his room all set up for him how he liked it, with the sheets untucked. He didn't like feeling constricted, it reminded him of human. Showering also reminded him of this, and he avoids them like conversations, but he is now working at the bowling ally on the South side of town. A customer complained that he smelled of raw sewage so he had an a ultimatum: shower or to go back and live in the ally. He chose paranoia. The spicket froze from the chill that is lingering in the town. He is worried he will become homless again. Another layer of body spray should cloak his true feelings from the world and protect his livlihood for one more miserable day. He thinks of Donna as the clock radio stutters in the background playing their song, the tic of it's circuits crying out in pain as Peter Gabriel sings to Henry about the same woman in question. One more day in hell. Another chance to prove he is nothing to this bullshit fucking town. TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK...

 

Advertisements